Let me tell you about the most passive aggressive song I know.
It starts with my poor friend Jag, feeling homesick in a faraway wintry North, who then decides to listen to Kamarũ to relieve the ennui (This is a true story, by the way). But he realises that some of the meaning escapes him, and he asks for help. So I decide to transcribe the lyrics of one of my favourite Kamarũ songs, Nũũ Ũcio, from the Good Times album. That song, dear friends, is spectacularly passive aggressive. Sounds like a dude whining, but listen deeper.
This song jazzes me. The dude sounds like he’s whining, but also ta arenda kũmũnyua ikobi rĩa kĩmira (kumchapa ile kofi ya kumtoa makamasi).
So here are the kisapere lyrics, and their English translation:
Ndari tanjĩra nũũ ũcio waringa mũrango
Tondũ ũrahĩngwo ũgĩthiĩ kũmũhingũrĩra-ĩ
Ndagĩka mĩrongo ĩtatũ mũkwĩranagatĩa
Angĩkorwo nĩũnyendete njĩra nũũ ũcio ndari
Darling please tell me who that was knocking
Because you’re tripping over in your haste to open the door
What were you discussing for thirty minutes
If you love me, tell me who that was, darling
Tiga kuhiũha kiongo mwendwa ndirĩ na ũru
Nĩnjũi gũtirĩ mũciĩ ũtahũragwo hoti-ĩ
No nĩ ngũigwa ndingĩona toro itamenyete
Mũgeni ucio ũgũgũcerera thaa mũgwanja nũũ
Stop getting all heated up (getting your head hot - wacha kuwaka kichwa); I’m not asking badly (siulizi kwa ubaya)
I know there isn’t a home that doesn’t receive a knock on the door
But I realise I’ll be unable to fall asleep until I know
Who that visitor who’s visiting you at one in the morning
Nĩ mũgeni ũrikũ ũcio ndari ũkũrũgama nja
Nĩ ng’ombe kana nĩ mũgũnda mũraarĩrĩria-ĩ
Na ndũngĩmwĩra atonye nyũmba ndĩmũgeithie
Mũkĩmumuana ndĩ nyũmba nĩ kũnyarara mami
Darling, who’s that visitor who declines to come in and stands outside?
Were you negotiating the sale of cattle, or perhaps a farm?
You should ask him to come in so that I can greet him
When you’re whispering to each other, aren’t you showing me plain madharau, mami?
(Now you can see the dude starting to lose control)
Ndikwenda gũtua cira njuge ni mũrataguo
No ndiramenya gĩtumi kĩa ũmũhingũrire-ĩ
Ningĩ nĩtamũkwĩranĩte thaa iria egũka
Tondũ wahiũka ta mũtego na ndũnagwatia tawa
I don’t want to jump to conclusions and say that that’s your friend
But I still don’t get it. I don’t understand why you have to open the door for him
And it’s like you had set an appointment with each other
Because you sprang out like a trap and didn’t even bother switching on the light
Ndari twacemania thitenji nĩndwĩkire nda
Na twageithania ndaigua mwĩrĩ waihũra maĩ-ĩ
Nĩkĩo ngwenda kũmenya nũũ ũcio muma nake
Tondũ ingĩtwĩka nda nĩũĩ ndĩraga magathira
Darling, when we meet at the bus stop (stage), tumbo yangu inakatika (sorry, here the English just doesn’t cut it)
And when we say hello to each other, my entire body fills up with water
That’s why I really want to know who that was that you were with
Because you know that tumbo ikikatika I cry until it (presumably the water or the tears) gets finished
Mwendwa kaĩ ũtangĩthera ngoro ũnyumbũrĩre
Tondũ korwo nĩ niĩ nyuma nja ndingĩraina-ĩ
Na nĩguo ngĩgũthaithire na ndũranjarĩria
Mũrimũ wa andũ erĩ mendaine ũtemagwo na mĩario
My dear, why can’t you have a clean heart and reveal it to me?
Because had that been me who was outside, I would not have been singing
And the way I have begged you, and you’re not telling me
The illness of two people in love is resolved through talking
Angĩkorwo nĩũtuĩte cira kaba ũnjĩre
Ndingĩtũra ngũrĩragĩra ta kana gaku-ĩ
Ndari angĩkorwo nĩũnyendete njĩra nũũ ũcio
Waga kũnjĩra nĩũkũmenya njũkĩtie mwere irũa
If you have decided (to not tell me) (The way he puts it is ‘ikiwa umekata shauri’)
I can’t continue crying to you like I’m your child
Darling, if you love me, tell me who that was
If you refuse to tell me, the consequences will be severe (but said in a very deep kisapere idiom)
Ndingĩgũthaitha rĩngĩ mwendwa tondũ nĩndona
Ona ũngĩtwarwo igoti nĩũgũtũra rũmande-ĩ
Nĩguo ona ũngĩenda kũmũgĩra nĩ ta utĩire
Nĩ ngitĩ muma atĩ twatigana nĩ ũru
I can’t continue begging you, my dear, because I have realised
Even if you’re arraigned in court, you will spend your days in remand
So that if you want to go and fetch him, I will not delay you
(I’ll be honest that I didn’t transcribe the last coupla lines at 100%)
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